Everyone « knows » that long distance relationships are impossible… right? Well, not necessarily. As with all relationships the chances of success or failure will be in direct relation to the maturity and commitment of the two people in the relationship.
While having long distance relationships can result in more challenges, you can still make it work. I mean, come on, how many relationships do you see fail everyday?
Those people can’t even make it work when they are living in the same place. Why is that? Well, obviously there are many reasons but very often the two main reasons are incompatibility and immaturity of one or both of the partners.
To give your distance relationship the best chance at success there are several things you can do:
1. Hopefully, you have a high level of compatibility and maturity. These are important in any relationship in order to make it over the inevitable bumps in the road. But, with a long distance relationship they are even more important. If the two of you don’t have these two traits it will be more of a long shot to make it work.
2. Clearly set up the ground rules. For one thing, are you both going to be allowed to date others when you are apart? For most couples the answer would be no. But some couples do say that is ok. Make sure you and your partner discuss these expectations and don’t assume anything.
3. How often will the two of you see each other? Setting up a « schedule » is important. It gives both of you a specific time frame and something to look forward to. It also creates a sense of « permanence » and it is better than just leaving it as « I’ll see you when I see you » kind of thing.
To take the loneliness out of the equation, here are some tips you can use:
1. Make a date night. Today, thanks to the internet, you can video chat. You can have « dinner » together or even watch a movie. Obviously, it’s not the same as actually being together but it’s better than just a phone call.
2. Try to talk to each other at least once a day. Keeping the lines of communication open is very important to the overall strength of your relationship. This is where many couples, both long distance and not, go wrong.
3. Make sure that you free up your schedule if your partner is going to be able to make it home for a day or two. They want to see you, they don’t want to wait for you to finish up with work first.
Of course, on the other side of things, make sure you give your partner a reasonable amount of warning if you find that you are going to be able to come home earlier than thought (if you can).
That way they can have a little time to possibly rearrange their schedule and be ready to spend time with you.
Trying to work out a long distance relationships can certainly be challenging but if the two of you are totally committed to each other and the relationship, you can make it work.